Being a gay top
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to describe a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the LGBTQ+ people, but also for increasing kind and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Being a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Shelter During Gay Sex
As a command, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the notion of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes sentimental roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the t
It’s important to remember this applies to yourself, as well — as we talked about above, tops also have limits, and can also be triggered or harmed during sex. You have the right to stop or withdraw consent from sex at any time, and also have the right to feel bad about something happening during sex; if that happens, you’re entitled to support and room from your partner as well.
How to Be a Good Top
You know what topping, bottoming (and even switching!) are now — and maybe you’re feeling super excited to superior (or to know more about the vocabulary for something you’ve already been doing for years). But there’s more to sex than knowing the right terminology. You know you want to top, but how do you create sure you’re a nice top?
Sex and romance are subjective, and every meeting with every person is a little different; what makes the dreamiest, most mindblowing sex of one person’s life might be a total snoozefest for someone else. While there may be no objective standards for “good sex,” I do think there are some ground rules for what individual people can do to be good in bed —
Gay Men's Preferences for "Top" Vs. "Bottom" Can Be Judged By Their Face
It’s been known for a while that it takes less than a second for people to use their internal “gaydar” to decide if they think a gentleman is homosexual or heterosexual, and such snap judgements care for to be right. But can facial differences be used to distinguish between different types of gay men — specifically, those who define themselves as “tops” versus “bottoms”?
To find out, the authors of this study recruited 23 participants from Amazon’s mTurk (including 7 females). The participants were asked to look at photographs of same-sex attracted men found on an online digital dating site ( tops, bottoms) and categorize them as tops or bottoms. Interestingly, they chose the correct roles at a rate finer than chance, although they were biased towards choosing the male-stereotypical “top” role.
As you might have guessed, the participants were using cues related to masculinity (e.g., dense eyebrows, large noses) to make their choices. The authors conclude with this tantalizing suggestion: “it is possible that si
It'scommonknowledge that if you are a bottom and prepare on having sex, then you shouldn't eat at Chipotle. I cannot tally the number of times I have been chatting with friends about where we should eat and someone mentions Chipotle, forcing someone else to chime in, "Girl you excel not plan on bottoming today."
We all usually laugh and agree, even shouting, "Right!" It's a fun fact that we joke about, but it's also an annoyance for many who fear that they may have a, um, surprise if they do decide to receive intimate with another dude, just because they ate one of their favorite foods, which moves through them a little too quickly. Beyond Chipotle there are lots of other foods that bottoms don't eat before sex and there are some bottoms out there who just don't eat at all.
Over the years my friends and I possess begun joking that this is all a part of what we name "top privilege," meaning that men who identify as tops have inherently greater privileges than do bottoms. We would joke that top privilege is the sexual equivalent of the white privilege in the world. Recently I began t