Gay male characteristics
What Gay and Bi Men Really Want
Are physical and sexual attraction the most appealing qualities in a partner? Or are unseen qualities like good manners and reliability the most attractive?
Following on from his investigate into what linear women want and what straight men want, D&M Research’s managing director Derek Jones has taken the next reasonable step with his latest study into what gay and bi(sexual) men want.
In order to excavate deeper and doodle out a factual list of turn-ons and turn-offs for gay and bi men, Derek once again used of the Im-Ex Polygraph method. He originally devised this technique of analysis to distinguish what people say they want from brands, products or services from what they really want by comparing stated versus derived measures of importance.
Qualities the gay and bi men said they desired in a partner (‘stated’) were compared to the qualities present in example celebrities they nominated as attractive (‘implied’). The alike comparison was made between stated and implied negative qualities, to determine what attributes are really the biggest turn-offs.
Before you begin your Freudian psychoanalysis, make sure to mention that you hold a ‘gay-dar’, and don’t forget to detail how accurate it is and has always been. Frame it as an insurmountable achievement of yours. After all, it is much more prestigious than organism awarded a Rhodes Scholarship. There’s no need to think about the reliability or accuracy of your data collection because you don’t have any, so just launch straight in.
Not everybody can be a gay or lesbian. There is a specific proficiency to identifying those of us who are. Here are some tell-tale signs that someone is a gay or lesbian:
The first thing to take notice of when deciding someone’s sexuality on their behalf, namely whether a male is gay or not, is to observe how high-pitched their voice is. The more high-pitched their usual speaking voice is, the more likely it is that you are talking to a lgbtq+ person. This is because the pitch of your voice has nothing to do with biology: it’s actually determined by your sexuality. Forget what scientists say – they’re all just conspiracy theorists, really.
The second hint to obtain n
Types
Some gay men use types to describe, identify and communicate themselves. Who hasn't heard someone tell “he’s my type" or been asked if a guy is yours? There is always some disagreement around the terms we use and whether we should use them at all.
Therefore, you should be sensitive if applying a type to someone, bearing in mind some gay men reject them altogether as constricted, superficial, and demeaning. Equally, some use types affectionately and as a convenient shorthand.
It's a bit of a bear pit (no pun intended), but here's our take on types, though you are perfectly entitled to hurl them out and be your own gay, your own homo, queer, etc.
Physical types and personal characteristics
Some guys are primarily attracted to physical types of male lover men (eg: bears, twinks, and muscle guys) while some discover characteristics in men most attractive (eg: warmth, intelligence, and humour). Others mix and match and understanding these distinctions is important.
For example, the type(s) of men we find attractive sexually may not necessarily be the qualities we are looking for to sust
Many gay men grew up feeling ashamed of not conforming to cultural expectations about “real boys” or “real men.” Especially during middle and high college, they may have been bullied or publicly humiliated because of their difference—made to feel like outsiders and not “one of the boys.” They may have found it easier relating to women than men, though they didn’t fully belong to the girl group, either.
Every homosexual man I’ve seen in my practice over the years has had a conflicted, troubled relationship with his own masculinity, often shaping his behavior in destructive ways. Writing for Vice, Jeff Leavell captures the dynamic nicely: “Queer people, especially gay men, are known for dealing with a slew of self-doubts and anxieties in noxious ways. Gay men are liable to touch incredibly insecure over their masculinity, a kind of internalized homophobia that leads them to idolize 'masc 4 masc', 'gaybros' and [to] shame and oppress femme men.”
Here we notice one of the most common defenses against shame: getting rid of it by offloading or projecting it onto somebody else; in this case, one