Asexual and gay

In this personal essay, Michael Paramo reflects on his exposure as a homoromantic asexual in southern California and examines how this individuality has played an integral role in shaping his life.

To identify as a homoromantic asexual means that one must navigate within every space in a very distinct style. There is no “communal space” that exists exclusively for the homoromantic asexual. We are disseminated throughout the internet, dotted on digital dating sites, isolated on discussion forums, scattered on social media platforms – ruined in the billions. We exist as an unknown not many belonging to an already largely unknown sexual orientation. Often being excluded from “gay” spaces because of my asexuality along with “straight” spaces because of homoromantic attractions to other men, I regularly felt hidden – never whole – with an aspect of myself essentially vanishing upon entering a territory dictated by another majority’s regulation.

The designation “homoromantic asexual” itself remains largely foreign today, as there is no access to this culture within mainstream avenues of knowledge. I recal

Why aromantic and asexual people belong in LGBTQIA+ society

Jennifer Pollitt is an assistant professor and assistant director of the Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies Program. In addition to teaching, she lectures and facilitates workshops for both academic and professional audiences, including co-founding Empathy A Work, LLC, and organizing the Men & #MeToo Conference in Philadelphia. She has developed comprehensive sexuality curricula used by the American Medical Association and other universities. She also belongs to the nation’s oldest and largest legal advocacy group that fights for the civil rights of LGBTQIA+ individuals and those who live with HIV. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ collective, she is a tough ally of asexuals and aromantics and we asked her to share her knowledge of these lesser-known identities that fall under the queer umbrella.

We spoke with Pollitt about what asexuals and aromantics can teach others about connection, why they belong in the LGBTQIA+ community, and why they are so often left behind in LGBTQIA+ discourse.

Temple Now: Two of the mo

What does asexuality/asexual mean?

In the simplest of terms someone who is asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. 

This means that they don’t experience that feeling of looking at a person and thinking ‘I’d like to have sex with them.’

It&#;s significant to note that a sudden loss in sexual drive if you’ve previously felt sexual attraction could be a reaction to medication, a change in your mental health or something else. This can happen to anyone and if this does happen, you can chat to your healer about what’s going on and figure things out. 

Does that indicate asexual people don’t fancy anyone else?

Some asexual people experience attraction, but don’t feel that they want to act on that attraction sexually. This is famous as romantic attraction, where they want to get to understand somebody and do romantic things. What those romantic things are depends on each person – it could include going on dates, holding hands or cuddling. 

Asexual people can also identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or unbent depending on who they undergo

This post was written for the Carnival of Aces this month, which is about &#;Living Asexuality&#;. Upon seeing the discussions about growing old single, I want to share my very different experience, about being able to combine in.
Recently, there was a very short documentary entitled &#;I&#;m Graysexual&#; (NSFW), featuring a man about my age, and using the same identity as I do: gay and greysexual. He does nothing more than briefly explain his personal experience, which is somewhat different from my own, and as I said, it&#;s very short.
What was particularly significant to me was not what was said, but what was unsaid. Specifically, the documentarian chose a stream of clips that mean close interaction with urban gay culture. He walks around what appears to be West Hollywood (the gay neighborhood in Los Angeles). He hangs out at gay nightclubs, watching go-go boys. He looks quizzically at packaged dildos, racks of porn videos, Grindr. This is all incredibly familiar to me.

I often feel enjoy I&#;m the only ace who interacts with that kind of gay male culture. This i